I was putting a few things together in a couple of gallon zip lock bags to send to Sarah and Isaiah. A friend is going over to file I 600 and visit his children at Providence House, our orphanage. They generously offered to take something for our kids. I am thankful for for generosity.
We put together a little photo album, pink for Sarah, and blue for Isaiah. It has picture of each of them, family pictures, and pictures of each of our kids. I pray they study our faces, and know that we belong together. They will see our smiling faces and know we are family. When the time times to bring them home, they will recognize us immediately.
As I assembled the bags, I just started crying. I went into each of their rooms to get an outfit for them. John has been saving clothes for his little brother for years. One of the beauties of a large family is seeing one child in an outfit that an older brother or sister wore. When I was a kid, I looked forward to my sister outgrowing something so I could have it next. I don't know what that is, closeness, anticipation, love of family? All of that is wrapped up in these little zip lock bags. I an thankful for family, and hand me downs.
When I took them to the UPS store today to mail them the man asked me, "What is the worth of the package?" At first I laughed, then I almost started to cry. Poor guy. It was a simple question. I wanted to answer, to tell him our whole story. but I was a bit too weepy. I run into total strangers and want to, and often do, share the whole story. I usually search it out because I never know what God might do with the conversation. I feel like God gave me this big mouth for a reason, and I want to spread the word. That little zip lock represented so much; it was too much to tell today. I am thankful that God has put the cause of the orphan on my heart.
John and Grace drew pictures for each of the bags. They just wrote "I love you" on them--no names, nothing else. Sarah and Isaiah don't read English, but we pray they will know they are loved. Not by what is in the zip lock. Not by the "worth" of the package, but by their own worth. They will know that someone is out there fighting for them. Someone is loving them, thinking about them, wanting them. I am thankful for love.
I know there is so much pain in this adoption, but soon there will be great joy. Lately, I have let current circumstances cloud me. That is wrong thinking. That is not what God wants for me. Paul tells us to, "Always be joyful." I've realized that I have allowed my joy to seep from me slowly throughout this adoption process. I have allowed circumstances to dictate my joy. That is reverse thinking. My joy is not dependent on current circumstances, but on Kingdom circumstances. Joy is a choice. And I choose joy. I can concentrate on the people and experiences in life that bring me joy: watching my husband play The Battle of Laughington with my kids, all jammied out, rolling around on the bed or floor tickling one another. Joy is making Mickey Mouse pancakes with my kids even when the mouse head looks more like a blob with ears than a cartoon mouse. Joy is getting ready for Thanksgiving and my big boys coming home. Joy is reading my Bible quietly in the morning before anyone else is up, drinking a cup of coffee. Joy is milking the goats on a cold morning, leaning in and feeling the softness of their winter coats.
Joy is knowing that Sarah and Isaiah are safe. I am thankful for joy.
"Never stop praying." I have two children who though far away from us physically are very close emotionally and spiritually, connected through prayer. I never stop thinking about them and praying for them. They may not know it, but they are protected by our prayers. They have a savior who loves them and who knew them well before I ever conceived of them. They are being held up and interceded for with Jesus' prayers. They are covered in prayer by my family and friends.
"Never stop praying."
I am thankful for prayer.
We put together a little photo album, pink for Sarah, and blue for Isaiah. It has picture of each of them, family pictures, and pictures of each of our kids. I pray they study our faces, and know that we belong together. They will see our smiling faces and know we are family. When the time times to bring them home, they will recognize us immediately.
As I assembled the bags, I just started crying. I went into each of their rooms to get an outfit for them. John has been saving clothes for his little brother for years. One of the beauties of a large family is seeing one child in an outfit that an older brother or sister wore. When I was a kid, I looked forward to my sister outgrowing something so I could have it next. I don't know what that is, closeness, anticipation, love of family? All of that is wrapped up in these little zip lock bags. I an thankful for family, and hand me downs.
When I took them to the UPS store today to mail them the man asked me, "What is the worth of the package?" At first I laughed, then I almost started to cry. Poor guy. It was a simple question. I wanted to answer, to tell him our whole story. but I was a bit too weepy. I run into total strangers and want to, and often do, share the whole story. I usually search it out because I never know what God might do with the conversation. I feel like God gave me this big mouth for a reason, and I want to spread the word. That little zip lock represented so much; it was too much to tell today. I am thankful that God has put the cause of the orphan on my heart.
John and Grace drew pictures for each of the bags. They just wrote "I love you" on them--no names, nothing else. Sarah and Isaiah don't read English, but we pray they will know they are loved. Not by what is in the zip lock. Not by the "worth" of the package, but by their own worth. They will know that someone is out there fighting for them. Someone is loving them, thinking about them, wanting them. I am thankful for love.
I know there is so much pain in this adoption, but soon there will be great joy. Lately, I have let current circumstances cloud me. That is wrong thinking. That is not what God wants for me. Paul tells us to, "Always be joyful." I've realized that I have allowed my joy to seep from me slowly throughout this adoption process. I have allowed circumstances to dictate my joy. That is reverse thinking. My joy is not dependent on current circumstances, but on Kingdom circumstances. Joy is a choice. And I choose joy. I can concentrate on the people and experiences in life that bring me joy: watching my husband play The Battle of Laughington with my kids, all jammied out, rolling around on the bed or floor tickling one another. Joy is making Mickey Mouse pancakes with my kids even when the mouse head looks more like a blob with ears than a cartoon mouse. Joy is getting ready for Thanksgiving and my big boys coming home. Joy is reading my Bible quietly in the morning before anyone else is up, drinking a cup of coffee. Joy is milking the goats on a cold morning, leaning in and feeling the softness of their winter coats.
Joy is knowing that Sarah and Isaiah are safe. I am thankful for joy.
"Never stop praying." I have two children who though far away from us physically are very close emotionally and spiritually, connected through prayer. I never stop thinking about them and praying for them. They may not know it, but they are protected by our prayers. They have a savior who loves them and who knew them well before I ever conceived of them. They are being held up and interceded for with Jesus' prayers. They are covered in prayer by my family and friends.
"Never stop praying."
I am thankful for prayer.
"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." I Thessolonians 5:16-18